I have to  and I must lift my head up whatever happens. Life needs you to be strong specially when you are facing your future. Stay positive and I will step out of bad situation sooner or later. god is testing me and i won't be defeated.

I will find my happiness.

Listen, what is your heart telling you to do?

It is true that I am a little confused.

I am just not that experienced and mature. Sometimes I ask myself at what age can I be called an adult? 18,apprently not. I am the one who need a whole lifetime to grow-up,just kidding. That won't be possible.

 

I feel sorry to say this, but it is. Love is somehow very fragile like glass. When you are crazy in love, you believe that you could get over anything. But something did block your mind from the truth. Once we look back someday, we are probably going to say "God,this is a lot." Love is devotion, understanding, patience,responsibility. Of course, bitter and sweet,and everyone sure does have a whole love story of his own. That is why love is always the most popular topic.It is so nice to taste the good part of love. There is something more commendable which is how to get through all of the difficulties.

 

I do not care about what others think now. I need to ask my mind,what do i really want to do? Being in love or independent? Take the responsibility or get as much freedom as before?

 

It is hard to find the perfect space for our true heart. You feel too empty when you are alone, and too full sometimes keeping someone there. Why human emotion is such a complicated thing?  I am a little bit pissed off.

 

Things are changing as they always are,Just like what has been written in the book" who moved my cheese?" The problem is not the change itself. Instead, which role should we play?

 

Even tho I am confused and upset,I still need to think, to grow, to appreciate what I have. I shall not just get away.

 

I like talking with my friends.

I like reading fashion magazine.

I like getting up early and have a cup of water with brown sugar.

I like going shopping with mum.

I like being calm and healthy.

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They are so simple, but sometimes you just forgot how much fun they could bring to you. I had a serious stomachache tonight, it is very painful. I have been suffering from stomachache for quite a while, still haven't found the best treatment. The most positive way I can think about is to do nice things for myself trying to get away from the pain. Anything I took in my tummy is like a big burden to digust. The more sickness I get, the more I cherish anything happening through my life. What if someday I am too sick to see my world? Mum said I need a long time to get well, but how long has it to be? Sometimes I am just too tired to keep my smile. I believe god will be fair as long as he sees how much I am enjoying my life right now.

I did not feel very well with some sort of allergy going on the whole day. My mind was messed up in the afternoon, that was why the Japanese class was such a crap. My quiz was really bad, so I lost my desire to study. I just could not remember anything from the word list. Why was it terrible like this? I had committed a lot of my free time to memorizing those stupid things,but still I could not feel part of it. I was like an outsider.  A big frustration hit my head with all those red marks on my quiz paper. Why did I have to take on learning Japanese? Am I being an ediot? I wanted to get away from it. My friends told me it was easy to begin with Japanese. Why did I feel so hard even at the beginning? I hate it.

 

Tho I complained so much, I know I should just stick to it no matter how hard it seems. After the two japanese classes, I stayed longer going over and over on the new text. I really wanted to do it well. Maybe a slow mind takes a little while. Anyway, I hope the bitterness won't last too long. However, I need to decide my own life. Do it or not? Well,a little complicated.

Last week was very busy and I was quite stressed out.

I have slowed down my life routine and it turned out very nice. I am feeling much relaxed once getting used to my schedule. Keep it calm and be explicit about what you want to do.

Just try to enjoy every tiny piece of my moment.